If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being hated don’t give way to hating And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master, If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim, If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two imposters just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools,
If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”
If you can talk with cowards and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings—nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds worth of distance run Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
so this one time, fed up by years of april fools pranks executed on me by my roommate, i tried to pull one on her. i tied a rope from the outside of her door to the closet doorknob in the hallway, making it impossible for her to get out on her own. this would have been awesome, had she woken up and needed to go for her morning pee, and subsequently had to BEG me to let her out…
but she didn’t wake up! and i had to go to work! and there was no way i was going to let her think she’d gotten through yet another april fools without pulling a fast one on her.
so i left.
it wasn’t until i got all the way to work, and told my boss, through tears of laughter what i’d done.
"wait,so she is at home, alone, and stuck in her room?" he asked in a concerned tone.
"yea!" i told him (still not getting it.)
"you have to go home and let her out emma. WHAT IF THERE IS A FIRE?!?!?!?"
HOLY SHIT. this isn’t funny. i don’t want to kill my room mate! i just want to make her pee in a bottle or something! i need to get back! PANIC! PANIC!
in the end i ended up calling her to at least make sure she was awake. she proceeded to tell me that she also was concerned about fire, but the only way she had figured out how to get out of the room was to squeeze her fingers through the crack in the door and light the rope on fire.
i felt horrible and subsequently have never tried an april fools joke again.